The Voice of the White House
Washington, D.C. December 26, 2012: “Instead of fulminations, I am going to set out a number of what I consider to be entirely fitting holiday poems for my readers to enjoy in the company of their children:
My children, never, never steal!
To know their offspring is a thief
Will often make a father feel
Annoyed and cause a mother grief;
So never steal, but, when you do,
Be sure there’s no one watching you.
Don’t tell a lie! Some men I’ve known
Commit the most appalling acts,
Because they happen to be prone
To an economy of facts;
And if to lie is bad, no doubt
’Tis even worse to get found out!
Down into the drinking-well
(Which the plumber built her)
Poor Aunt Eliza fell, –
We must buy a filter.
In the cistern our young Willie
Pushed his little sister Lily.
Father couldn’t save his daughter,
And now we sterilize our water.
Willie, I regret to state,
Cut his sister up for bait.
We miss her when it’s time to dine,
But Willie’s fish taste simply fine.
Weep not for little Leonie,
abducted by a French Marquis.
Though loss of honor was a wrench,
just think how it’s improved her French! Continue Reading »