Voice of the White House

In the past two issues, we carried comments from a reporter assigned to the White House press corps. Some of these remarks, most especially one about Bush’s physical and mental problems, drew an enormous number of viewers and hundreds of inquiries, most especially from foreign press entities. The reporter advised us by email that there was rampant fury in the White House and security was becoming very tight. As a result of this, he decided to lay low for a few weeks and see how the wind was blowing. Yesterday, he sent us the following material which we are now posting. Some of it is outrageous in the extreme but to date, no one has proven him wrong.

Received May 29, 2004

“Well, here goes at least one interesting story for you and your friends. One of my contacts inside the White House, a nice young lady (don’t laugh..they exist) who has been dating a man in one of the security agencies (CIA, FBI or Secret Service…take your choice here) went on a date with him last weekend (May 22-23). Both had a “few drinks” and went to his apartment. He was trying to impress her (among other things) and told her the following: This Berg kid was not killed and decapitated by Arabs. He was killed by CIA interrogators and decapitated after he was dead, for propaganda purposes. The FBI had their hands on him but could get nothing out of him so the Company boys took over, played too rough and killed him. Then they contacted headquarters and decided on a grisly charade. They put makeup on him (his face was all banged up) and faked a beheading. When you cut someone’s throat, there is a terrible amount of blood squirting out all over the place. Not so in the Berg video. And after they cut off his head, they buried it out in the desert because if anyone ever found it attached to his body, they would know how he died and no one wanted to autopsy the skull and remove the American-made slug from his brain. The headless body was tossed out in southern Iraq and left to bloat for a while and then “discovered” and sent home. This is typical CIA business…killing people that is. Anyway, the informant was crying because she thinks that because she has knowledge, she will be snuffed too. She probably would have the usual heart attack if she blabbed so I have to be careful about any identifying info. Do I believe this? Given all the scuttlebutt floating around the Beltway, I surely do. Bush sees the ground slipping out from under his flat feet and he and his boys will do anything to stay in power, even to cutting off the head of a corpse and making a circus out of it on the media.  Another bit I picked up from my conscience-stricken informant is that there is now more anti aircraft equipment on the roof of the White House, and two other nearby buildings, than there ever was on the battleship Iowa. The security people here are really frightened that someone, Arab or local, will do A Bad Thing, possibly crashing a truck full of nitro into the barriers or a plane into the West Wing. I think personally that since very few of these people really like Bush, they are afraid they might be in the way if and when. Note here: It is strictly forbidden under penalty to even hint at the large and apparently serious death threats coming in against not only the President but Cheney and Rumsfeld as well. And I mean a strict prohibition! Parenthetically, I discussed this with my editor and he told me to shut up on the subject. He doesn’t want a heart attack and neither would our CEO…”

Received May 27, 2004

“Even though they are still very much annoyed, and even frightened by leaks coming from inside the White House, they are now are even more frightened of leaks from the Pentagon. The Army doesn’t like being blamed for the Iraqi prison mess in light of the “tough” interrogations (resulting in nearly fifty dead prisoners) that were inaugurated by Rumsfeld personally. The question about Bush knowing about this is foolish. Of course Bush knew about it. Bush is a Crusader who wants the Holy Land for Christians and tame Jews and he absolutely loathes Muslims. “Idolaters” and “heathens” is what he calls them often and loudly around the plant. Over the past few weeks, poor Bush has been taking heavy body blows. It has him taking uppers now because he was generally pretty depressed and with the endless media feeding frenzies swirling around him, he is pretty much of a wreck. Still, the President will never admit he is wrong. How could he be when God appointed him to be President? You think this is some kind of a Democratic joke? Think again. He has said, once in my presence, that God put him in the White House and most of the drooling staff here agrees with him. The more pressure put on him, the more withdrawn he is becoming. He will never fire Rice or Rumsfeld because he would be totally lost without them. Cheney has a really bad pump and he could peg out any day now so where would that leave the President? Believe me when I say that Bush is totally a creature of his aides. He won’t read and never watches TV. Maybe you noticed this but he did not go to the college graduation services for either of his beautiful daughters. Why? The Secret Service says that the schools received so many death threats that it was decided early on that he would not appear there. It got so bad that the daughters wouldn’t go either. Bush is scared to death he will be killed so he never goes anywhere without a massive guard. If he goes to a town in Iowa to talk, the guards go in first, secure the areas, put men in the hall for 48 hours. No one is allowed to protest either on camera or in the Imperial Presence. They map out his grand entrance with care, stuff the hall with loyal Republicans bussed in from as far away as Nebraska (!) and anyone with an anti-Bush or anti-war sign is moved, by force if necessary, to a area a mile away from where God’s Lieutenant is speaking. And God help you if you were standing in the “approved” crowd and suddenly whip out a negative sign or shout something bad at him. Off you go to be harassed by the Secret Service. They photograph you and warn you never, never to do that again or they will lock you up in the local slammer whenever Bush comes into the neighborhood. Private polls here show that Bush is the most hated President since Lincoln but we, none of us, ever see these. Rove said that Gore was a “traitor” to the United States and should be locked up. Ditto for General Zinni who is really jabbing at his ex-Commander in Chief. They stopped trying to find me and are now frantically doing much-too-late damage control. With most of the media turning against Bush, his fanatic followers are scared that he will lose in November and even more important, that there is the possibility of some kind of punitive action being used against him. He lies constantly to the military (which is a no-no in the end) and Congress, started a war knowing full well that he was full of shit but Cheney told him, along with Rummy, that it would all be over in a week and the stupid rag heads would run off into the desert and we would have all that nice oil. God help anyone who dared to dispute this. Now we are stuck with a brain-damaged weirdo in the Oval Office, surrounded by a pack of vicious war criminals who sound like something from one of Hitler’s big party rallies in the ‘30s. Ashcroft is a lying KKK reject who keeps bleating about terrorist attacks. No one has any idea where he gets his input but that one is about as nutty as Frist and Ridge. The plan was to announce a major terrorist attack coming up really soon. When it doesn’t materialize (because it was never planned) then the Strange Ones can have a solemn press conference and announce that they were able to prevent something that they made up in the first place. They do this for religious and political reasons. You have no idea the great contempt these strange ducks have for the American voters. They look upon us as a pack of stupid sheep that they, the Divine Shepherds, have to lead to an Imperium that they neither need nor want. More later. I have some really lovely stories about Karl Rove that you can have the next time I write.”